Sometimes when my friends tell me about their problems, I couldnt help but wanting to intervene. Like commenting that what they did was wrong, they should have done this way, shouldnt have said that things and so on...

I know that when a person tells you of her a problem, it is not ur right to give ur opinion or even to strongly suggest a solution or an alternative to him/her. As a listener, you have to be objective, attentive and understanding.

By objective and understanding , it is without judging, without thinking or saying to her, oh u should have done this this and this way. Or for thinking that your friend was stupid for getting into such a mess. You should be waiting till s/he gets her/his point across because most of the time, she has not even finished telling you the main problem. Or perhaps there's not really a problem at all? She's just telling you what's in her mind. And that's all.

By attentive, it is listening and capturing ur friend's explanations, tone, body language, facial expression, etc. It is giving "ya, go on" and "mm hmm" at the appropriate times. Not at a too slow a rate or at a "hurry up and finish up what u're saying" pace.


So, unless your friends asks u this: "what should I do?" or "Am i wrong?" or "BLOODY HELP ME!!", just listen to her .

It is often said, people just need a listening ear. Not necessarily a solutions provider. Because most often, people already have their own answers. Just that they're afraid to go for it or they need some assurance from their friends. Hence, look for the cue, and say what is appropriate.